In March, my mentor passed away. Dr. Williams was my English professor and thesis advisor; he is the reason why I pursued graduate school (at his alma mater, no less) and a writing career. He saw something in me, a young adult reluctant to raise her hand in class; through my writing and our post-class discussions, he got to know the real me.
His funeral was slated for the Saturday we were supposed to leave for vacation. So I stayed back while the family packed up and drove down to South Carolina, booking a flight for the following Monday morning.
The funeral was really beautiful, but emotional. He touched so many people and I kept thinking about the line from Ulysses, a novel we read together, “just for fun,” after the class had read A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man.
“Every life is many days, day after day. We walk through ourselves, meeting robbers, ghosts, giants, old men, young men, wives, widows, brothers-in-love. But always meeting ourselves.”
Photograph by Sarah McCosham
I left the funeral full of thoughts. What do I do with this grief? What do I learn from this? What can I take from this? It was this event that led toward a moment of self-discovery that would take me on a solo trip to Portland, Oregon, for my 40th birthday; to the cerulean blue of Hamilton Pool in Austin with my 11 year old mini; to Chicago for a night to see P!NK with a lovely friend; to the tattoo chair at Queen Ink; and, as it were, to Gaylord Opryland in Nashville, Tennessee, with 6-year-old Pearl.
After Dr. Williams’s passing, I realized that it was time to live my life. Call it a midlife crisis, but between a pandemic and 10+ years of pregnancies and breastfeeding, I realized I didn’t know who I was. “Every life is many days, day after day. We walk through ourselves, meeting robbers, ghosts, giants, old men, young men, wives, widows, brothers-in-love. But always meeting ourselves.”
Who was I?
I was someone who wanted to live. To travel. To explore. To form real, living-and-breathing relationships with the four humans I brought into the world. To prioritize my friendships and relationships and self. To stop worrying so much and have more fun.
“Fun” was certainly what brought me to Gaylord Opryland with a 6 year old.
Photograph by Sarah McCosham
A few years ago, I was invited to the opening of SoundWaves at Gaylord Opryland in Nashville, Tennessee. It was during the busy back-to-school season and we had a conflict, but I remained on the media lists for events and openings, patiently staying on my radar as if waiting for the most opportune time to grab my attention.
My attention was grabbed this summer, as I began planning one-on-one trips with each of my kids. Pearl, happiest in the water and a huge music lover, is a “yes, and” kind of gal and basically the best little human. So I reached out to my contact and arranged for us to spend a weekend at Gaylord Opryland, thinking we’d likely be at the SoundWaves waterpark the entire time, something I was 100 percent OK with because Pearl would be having a blast.
The thing is: I had a blast, too.
Gaylord Opryland is like Disney World, but if the latter were a music mecca in one of the coolest towns in the country. The resort is a world unto itself, complete with shopping, dining, entertainment, transportation, and botanical gardens (with waterfalls!) that transform the space into a world of wonder—not unlike the magic of Disney. (And for us here in Greater Cincinnati, Nashville is a very doable day trip by car—or an easy 40 minute flight!)
SoundWaves is a newer addition to Opryland. With both indoor and outdoor water parks, SoundWaves is a year-round destination for those looking for an amazing aquatic adventure. The park’s indoor attractions include the Crowd Surfer, a wave simulator that lets two people surf simultaneously; a sprawling lazy river that meanders through the beautiful hotel; a two-story play structure that’s perfect for younger kids; five thrilling water slides; and an entire pool devoted to families.
I set up camp on a beach chair, but Pearl wanted me to join her. So you know what? I did.
I ran through the wave pool.
I went down a water slide on a double tube with Pearl.
I channeled my inner Olympian on the surf simulator. (Ha!)
I ran across floating lily pads, zoomed down a water slide on my belly, and scaled a rock wall.
I got water up my nose and laughed the entire time.
I had a blast with Pearl—at the water park, at the resort, at the Grand Ole Opry, in Nashville, on the plane…I had the best, most memorable kind of vacation—the kind that leaves you sad to return home, but grateful for the experience.
We threw pennies into the koi pond and spent way too much at the resort’s arcade. We had fries and Shirley Temples for dinner. We walked hand-in-hand all over downtown Nashville, Opryland Resort, and the beautiful winding paths of the hotel’s gardens. I took pictures—but then put my phone down. I really, truly, lived every minute of this vacation.
Pearl and I got to the airport an hour early for our return flight. As she snuggled against me, watching Minions on the iPad (the first time we’d broken it out all weekend, I should add), I scrolled through photos from our trip: the two of us at the Capitol, the Parthenon, the Opry, SoundWaves, Opryland. Wandering through Nashville, hand in hand, radiating so much happiness and joy. I thought again of Dr. Williams, and Ulysses, and my favorite quote: “Every life is many days, day after day. We walk through ourselves, meeting robbers, ghosts, giants, old men, young men, wives, widows, brothers-in-love. But always meeting ourselves.” I love this woman; a self rediscovered after a karmic series of events in 2024.
It’s virtually impossible for me to relax, ever…even on vacation. My mind is always buzzing with deadlines, multiple kids’ schedules, my own internal monologue—you name it. Looking at my photos, thinking of Dr. Williams, I realized that the self that I’m meeting when I’m traveling solo or one-on-one with my kids, is the kind of relaxed, spontaneous, in-the-moment person I want to be; I am meeting my best self. And this “best self” returns from her adventures reinvigorated, inspired, and ready to tackle life.
I know now that the way Dr. Williams was able to see me was a gift. We connected through Joyce and the love of language, and that connection made me feel understood. His belief gave me wings and launched me on an unexpected path. And I want to extend that gift to my kids, to pour into them my understanding and love. So Pearl and I will be heading back to Opryland again, I am sure. We have a surf machine to conquer, after all.
Gaylord Opryland, 2800 Opryland Dr, Nashville
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